Saturday, 11 June 2016

Tips for being a duck


 
Lay where you want. Middle of a walk way? yes. Random gap in the stairs? oh yes. In your swimming pool? if you want! or better yet claim the chickens nesting box and dig yourself a nice deep crater. (Bonnies favourite new spot, it's wonderful)
 
 
 
Get as filthy as you can! drill holes in the lawn, the best worms hide the deepest! cover your bill in a mud moustache as big as you can possibly make it (these are very small and grass free moustaches for a hard working duck)

 
 Cow poop makes a great chest decoration, plus it is nice and warm to roll in.
 
 
Lead your chicken friends to wet muddy paddocks. Ignore the human yelling at you to come home. Unless she comes back with treats
 
 
If you think she does have treats (almost every time you see her), quack loudly to call your duck and chicken friends close! gather under her feet.
If she doesn't have anything, run away!
 
 
 
When you are as grubby as possible, make your way to the recently clean pools to clean yourself and poop a lot. No, more than that.
Yes!
Now, the water you have splashed out has made delicious mud soup. Add it to your pool. Man that water is filthy. Where is the human? doesn't she ever clean these things?
 
 

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